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Episode #6 – Mosquito Hackers

Yeah, so probably one of the most annoying things out there these days are hackers.  Not all hackers, mind you, but the ones looking just to mess up your day by sending things out under your guise or wiping out data (images, music, videos, documents, etc.) on your device (smartphone, tablet, notebook, etc.).



Yeah, those guys really suck ass!

Now that I think about it, Angelina Jolie kinda hacked Brad Pitt’s life didn’t she?

So, I was hacked earlier this week on my twitter account and I only realized it following a direct message from a tweep of mine @user47.  I quickly retraced it to a direct message I’d gotten from a tweep of mine with a link I was a dumbass enough to click on even on my iPhone.

hacked tweet

Blurred out avatar of tweep and the B.S. link in the tweet that Effs up your twitter account if you follow it.

Well, I changed my password to Twitter immediatamente and changed my Facebook as well (since the faux link takes you to a Facebook addy apparently).  In addition, I changed all my passwords across the board on the Internets so that they are all different.  I don’t know if you heard about the dude who got hacked and they wiped out all of his shit a few weeks ago (you can read about this scary event right here), but I wasn’t up for that poop happening to yours truly.  So, I went across the board and changed it up.

Can’t lie, it was a cool 35 minutes or so of fear.  I do back stuff up at home, but still.  Creepy!

So here’s what bugs the living shit out of me…  Why?  I understand when hackers are trying to get $$$ or something of value, but other than being man-children that never grew out of the “destruction for the sake of destruction” phase of adolescence, what gives?  Why don’t you use that big fuckin’ brain of yours and invent something?  Or, you could be like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, etc. and steal something to make it better.  There’s no purpose to fuck people over like this.  We’re on the same front lines of society as you.  I don’t make a bazillion dollars a year.  I’m not a multi-mega-trillion dollar corporation like Sony.  What the hell?

And, what you tried to do to Mat Honan by wiping his devices with his Apple ID, why?  So you can rid the man of photos of his friends and family?  Fuck you assholes!  You didn’t get any $ out of him and you didn’t get any out of me.  I really don’t understand your purpose you shitbags. This is why I call you “mosquito hackers”. You are little more than mosquitos annoying people.

Transmission Ends…



Episode #5 – Damn You AutoCorrect!

So, here we are on episode #5 already?  Yeah, there was some time between #4 and this one, but come on, I can’t be perturbed that often or else I’ll go crazy right?  Wrong, I’m already crazy folks.  Stick with me here.

Has this, or something similar, ever happened to you?

Wacky auto-correct mishap

Ya know, she probably could’ve gotten pregnant too.

Me too.  Auto-Correct, like it or not, is a major part of all of our lives now.  Since the average kid coming out of high school only knows how to spell about 18 words correctly here in the U.S., auto-correct is a mainstay that isn’t leaving our lives any time soon.

Look, I love robots too…especially midget robots, but they make mistakes.  Humans aren’t much better, but at least the robots are funny when they foul up.  That’s why the website Damn You Auto Correct is so flippin’ funny and George Bush Jr.s presidency wasn’t.  (BTW, there’s an app for that as well and it’s free )

So, if you have a little time on your hands, you’re going to want to do the following:

1.  Watch me blow a lot of hot air about this TTBTLSOOM here:

2.  Go to this wicked cool website and check it out:

Damn You AutoCorrect logo

Yes, damn you indeed.

Thats all for now.  Catch you kids later!

Episode 4 – Haters

This might seem confusing. Heck, after watching my video blog again, I'm a little confused.

Here's what I'm trying to get across in a nutshell. Why hate? Whether it be hating different political beliefs, religions or whatever, it just takes too much energy to hate. Don't get me wrong, I understand “hate” is a hot commodity right now. We, as humans, just cannot seem to get enough of it.

Look at our entertainment. “Reality” shows litter our prime time with fights, heartbreaks, cheating and lying. We can't get enough. It's sick really. I want scripted shows with plots and slightly fewer assholes myself. Remember the good old days? Yeah, it was campy and goofy, but it was not full of hatred.

Anyway, I say we should worry a little less about how we're different and be happy with how similar we all are…worldwide.



Episode 3 – Improper Clothes Wearing

Hey everyone, long time and no see.  I’ve attached my video blog entry here to the piece so I won’t go into it too much as there’s more than enough info. contained in the video.

Fernando Rodney doesn't know how to wear a hat.

This doesn’t say, “I’m awesome!” It says, “I’m a dumbass who thinks he looks cool.”

Here’s a picture of the accused, Fernando Rodney, in action.  Doesn’t he look like a flaming dipshit with his hat like that?  I agree.  Next year, he’ll need helping holding up his pants to get out to the mound…

I don't know what a belt is.

They have a solution boys. It’s called a belt and it’s been out since the Bronze Age.

Look, I love fashion.  I understand there’s stuff out there that I just don’t and won’t get, but some of this shit borders on the absurd.  This cannot possibly be comfortable to walk around in.  You are constantly trying to hold your f’n pants up.  There’s a solution.  It’s called a belt and it just came out about a few thousand years ago.  I don’t want this to be a racial or cultural thing folks.  Yes, I realize when glancing back over this post all you might notice is I have imagery of young African American men here.  That’s because that’s where this lovely tidbit of fashion seems to come from.  Who cares?

Fact is, it’s not part of a culture or any other stupid shit like that.  Wearing your clothing incorrectly just looks fucking stupid…plain and simple.  If you disagree, get someone to help you hold your gigantic pants/shorts up while you come find me as long as you’re not walking into the sunlight with the visor cocked to the side so your eyes aren’t protected…idiot!

Thanks all and enjoy the video…

Episode 2 – Bluetooth Headset Guy

Alright, we’ve gotten #1 out of the way.  People who don’t want kids, yet have them, though, still bug the shit out of me.  Gone, but not forgotten assholes.

On to another fave of mine.  Barney Bluetooth.  You know this fella?  Here’s an example of this D.A.L. (Douchebag at Large) wearing one while interviewing on the History Channel.

Idiot wearing a bluetooth headset whilst being interviewed on the History Channel

History Channel Hillbilly

Must’ve been a really important call he was expecting right?  Wrong, he has no friends save his dog and his truck.  Why?  He alienates people within reach by wearing that stupid fucking thing outside of it’s purpose.

I think the thing that pisses me off the most about this is that bluetooth headsets serve a noble purpose.  They are designed to be worn whilst driving so that you have handsfree communication and can accept incoming or make outgoing phone calls.  They are NOT designed so you can look (like what you think is) cool, important or anything else other than what you are.  With so many assholes wearing them improperly out there (in the grocery store yakking on and on about nothing, walking down the fucking street looking like they’re talking to theirselves or at social events where you are supposed to be interacting with humans that are right in front of you), no one is going to be caught dead wearing one.  The bummer about that is that people, then, won’t wear them for their original purpose which is automobile safety.

Here’s another thing Barney Bluetooth, the novelty is gone.  People don’t find it so amazing any longer that you are talking on your phone using something that’s not “wired”.  As a matter of fact, there’s so many fucking people in the world that they really don’t give a shit about what you’re doing at all.  So, free yourself and take that shit off.  Leave it in your car charging until the next time you decide you need another pack of Camels  and some Natural Light up at the “Stop N Go”. Then you can, rightfully, wear your Azul Attention Getter.


(Video Below)



Episode 1 – Having Kids

Don’t you just love it when you are forced into going to Wal-Mart as your only option and you see some idiot(s) with a buttload of kids they really don’t give a crap about at all?  The kids are bored beyond all get-out and they don’t even understand that parents could be a source of meaningful discourse about any subject in life.  They just see their moms and dads as mean assholes that, apparently, enjoy smacking the crap out of them and calling them idiots.  Oh, and in their spare time, these parents also seem to really enjoy drinking dirt cheap shitty beer (which would make anyone mean) and cutting all of the sleeves off of their shirts while avoiding shaving, haircuts and general cleanliness at socially acceptable junctures.

So, here’s a video blog entry about I.B.s (Ignorant Breeders) I created on my way into work this morning.  Let the games begin!